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Edinburgh hookers say prices may have to rise in event of Yes vote

In what is seen as a further blow to the campaign for Scottish independence hundreds of Edinburgh prostitutes have signed a letter sent to the Scotsman newspaper claiming that they may have to raise...

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‘Actually we won,’ claims SNP

Alex Salmond has been quietly telling his supporters that actually the SNP was the real victor in the Scottish referendum. ‘Truth is, we ran rings around them Sassenachs,’ he said in a confidential...

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Murray apologises for expressing non-bland opinion

Following his last minute show of support for the Yes campaign in last week’s Scottish independence referendum, tennis star Andy Murray has issued a statement of apology to the British public for any...

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One Direction surprises fans by releasing cover of 70s prog rock track

Boy band One Direction have today surprised their fans by releasing a 22 minute cover version of ‘The Gates of Delirium’ by the prog rock band Yes. ‘It is a bit of a departure for the band musically,...

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Obituary – Lenny Sharples – Prog Rock legend

The death of Lenny Sharples, lead guitarist with 1970s progressive rock band, The Topographic Sentinel, was announced on the band’s website last night. He was 74 and still going strong right up to last...

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COBRA to meet as terror grips nation over Genesis reunion

Following the news that one-time Prog Rock supergroup Genesis is to reform it has been announced that Boris Johnson is holding an emergency meeting of COBRA as fears grow that it might only be the tip...

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